I'm a bit of a goose, no really, I am. I like to scare myself. I get a sick little thrill from feeling goosebumps prickle my skin, my toes curl up in terror and my hair stand on end. I get less of a thrill when I can't sleep at night because I think there are zombies living in my closet. I call it 'can't sleep, clown will eat me' syndrome but that's not the point that I'm trying to make.
My point is that no matter how many scary movies I watch, no matter how many thrillers I consume or how many shows I watch with names like 'Ghost Hunters' and 'Paranormal state' and 'Ghost Lab', I can't help feeling that my fear is somewhat overridden by my astonishment at how stupid people are.
In the case of movies, these people are of course, fictional but in these so called 'reality' paranormal shows, the people are very much real. These people literally live in fear of their homes for YEARS before they try to deal with the problem. You have terrified kids, mums at the end of their tether, dogs going ape shit, words and symbols 'allegedly' being carved into people's flesh and whenever they are interviewed they say things like 'oh, I've had almost as much as I can take' or 'I'm almost at breaking point'. Almost? Really? Almost!? And what was it that led you to breaking point? Was it the fact that your kid's head rotated 180 degrees or was it the blood dripping from the walls that really got your goat? Almost? Please! I would have been out of there as soon as that husky, somewhat creepy voice whispered 'get out!'.
The other thing I have noticed is that these people always seem clueless about the paranormal and about what seems to aggravate entities of a ghostly nature. In most of these TV shows, the 'clients' (the haunted) are interviewed by the 'investigators' (usually kids or fat men with video recorders) and one of the questions that they are ALWAYS asked is 'so, can you think of anything that may have brought about this paranormal activity?'. Of course, they always answer with a resounding 'no'. Until later on when they suddenly seem to remember little insignificant facts like 'oh, when I was ten I offered my soul to the devil for a cookie'; or 'oh yeah, we played with a Ouija board a bunch of times and conjured Satan'; or 'oh, that's right, our house is located on an Indian burrial ground' and so on and so forth. Like I said, little insignificant facts.
So with that said, sometimes being haunted isn't your fault. That's right, sometimes it's just gosh darn bad luck but here are some helpful tips...
If you live on any property that used to be a 'plantation' or had 'plantation' in the name, it's haunted. If you have a house with doors to rooms that lock from the outside, it's haunted. If your house is old and you have a basement, an attic, a cellar, a loft or any place that looks like it could have once been a dungeon, your house is haunted. Anything that is on or near creepy woods or has barns, narrow stairwells or used to be something along the lines of an old church, school house or insane asylum- gonna go out on a limb here and say, probably haunted.
Here's another helpful tip from yours truly: NEVER renovate your old house because from experience, ghosts don't tend to like it. Another hot tip: don't attempt spirit communication by trying to goad your ghostie into revealing itself becuase best case scenario, it DOES show it self and you shit yourself. Worst case scenario, the walls start shaking and your house tries to 'cleanse itself' of you (i.e. tries to kill you) and lets be honest, this scenario still ends with you shitting yourself, only you're dead and soiled instead of just soiled.
So there you go. Some tips about the paranormal that may or may not have known. Basic rule of thumb: everywhere is haunted and the only thing you can really do, is give your house up to the beasties because lets face it, they're invisible and you're never going to win that fight.
-Nadia X
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